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| The Boy in Brown Jeans |
He didn’t know what to wear. He only had two pairs of pants (the others were disposed because they don't fit him):a shiny denim one and a skinny brown. After all the mix-and-match stuffs, he chose the brown one. He paired it with a yellow shirt with a black vest on top. He wore his gold Nike imitation shoes he bought at Greenhills. He looked perfect and cute, yet fashionable.
As he stepped out the door and walked his way to school, everyone looked at him, a little confused and amazed. They seemed bewildered of his attire. Maybe they were just not used of seeing men in well and fashionable clothes. He felt a little embarrassed of himself.
He was not used of being the center of attraction... a head-turner. He always thought why: Is there something wrong with me?
He just loved to dress up everyday. He was a man of personality: he was fair.. handsome.. intelligent. But he knew something was wrong with the way people talk and interact with him.
Ever since he was a child, everybody's first impression was "He's so talented!" During elementary and high school, they became curious and confused of his sexuality. From then on, he was used of those stuff and those curious people. He always had to explain his side to correct other's wrong impression about him.
He thought that aside from what and how he dresses up, maybe what caused others to think like that about him was because of his rhythmic movements. His elementary life was heated up whenever he and other selected students joins or participates in programs, where they were the main dancers. He was even coined "The Stage Person" because if he was not dancing, he was singing.
He believed he was born to entertain others, and lived with that belief until the rest of his life.
An athletic brother also made others think he was the "gentle" one. They grew up as th opposites-- he was the half-breed (fair complexion) and the other one was the native. He knew that physically, he can not do anything, but mentally, he can do something. Whenever the two would fight, with his innate debating skills, he always won.
As he grows older each day, he asked himself: Am I a straight man? And later, he found he really was. Why can't others just see the truth? The real me?
Days passed by and he got so tired of those imperfections others sees in him.
And he lived without minding them. Dressing up was his joy, and simplicity for him was real boredom.
He enjoyed his life. Without any hesitations, he continued dressing up. His schoolmates even buzzed around his weird fashion, but still, he didn’t mind them all.
As long as I am who and what I am, nothing's wrong.. nothing to laugh at.. nothing to buzz around, he thought.
He confessed his insecurities and dilemma by writing this essay.
YES, it's ME! I am the guy who loves to dress up.. the one who rejects simplicity and absorbs innovatory.. the one who had lived in confusions of himself..
I think, if not The Boy in Brown Jeans will be the title of this essay, I'll have this titled "Confusion Confession". I want you to remember this article.. and I want it to remain in your hearts.
Boys and girls, never be afraid or worried of who you are and what personality you really have.. of what you want to be.. of what you want to do.. of what you want to wear.
Boys, being a real man is not based on how you dress up but all about how you can carry yourself. It's not on how you walk.. nor talk.. nor move. It's on how you are being true to yourself! Never be afraid of what others might say! If clothing up is what makes you happy then go! Stand out among the others!
Dressing up is not a "minus" to you as a real man.
Maybe, what made on-lookers judge like that whenever they see well-dressed boys are their misconception of metro sexuality. I'm proud to say I am one. Who would not love to look good and be different?
METRO is different from HOMO! Hmmmm? Being a metro is not the first step on being a homo!
REMEMBER: No one has ever died when he became true to himself.
Thanks to my cousin's opinion, I became more inspired in writing this article. I'll never forget her words, "Ayokong sumama minsan sa'yo.. tumitingin lahat ng tao.."
Last thing to say..